You already know feedback is mission-critical if you’re a business owner, but most still get it wrong. So let’s break down the four most common issues—delayed convos, skipping the prep, failing to ask questions, and getting personal—and tackle practical fixes. Your feedback will land better and stoke growth! Need help nailing this? Contact the StellaPop team, we’ve got your back!
There’s no getting around it. That tough conversation you’ve been avoiding—you know, the one with the team member whose performance slipped, or whose attitude is poisoning the ship—yeah, THAT one? It absolutely must happen.
The problem is, it’s uncomfortable! Arguably, the least favorite thing for a business owner to do, but necessary if you want a team that thrives.
The problem is that most business owners botch the whole conversation, stumbling through or making the same predictable mistakes.
Mistake #1: Waiting Too Long
Why: Again, giving critical feedback is a bummer. And you might be hoping it will magically correct itself, or you’re waiting for “the right time.” News flash…there is no right time! Just gotta rip off the bandage.
The Cost: If you don’t, the problem gets worse, you’re silently communicating to the team member that their behavior is A-ok, and the rest of your crew grows increasingly annoyed at picking up the slack. It only makes the eventual conversation harder and much less effective. Fast, effective feedback isn’t just nice to offer, it’s essential.
Handle It By: Addressing problems within 24-48 hours. It means the issues are still top of mind, and nothing has been left to fester.
Mistake #2: Winging It
Why: It’s true that some feedback can happen naturally on the fly. But more often than not, you probably assume that since you’ve been thinking about it for weeks, you will know what to say, or you haven’t made time to prep.
The Cost: Being unprepared means you risk rambling, mixing issues, being vague, getting emotional or defensive, and forgetting the main points you wanted to cover—leading to no actual solutions. Plus, your employee feels ambushed and overwhelmed.
Handle It By: Spending 15-20 minutes preparing. Write down specific behaviors, team impact, what needs to happen, and the desired outcome. Anticipate potential reactions so you can stay calm, and refer to your notes if emotions run high.
Mistake #3: Talking Too Much
Why: Frustration leads to over-explaining and can feel like a lecture instead of a conversation. You talk, they nod, nothing really meaningful happens.
The Cost: Missed context, resentment, and the death of real growth. Maybe they are dealing with something you don’t know about, or struggling with missing resources, perhaps they are unclear on priorities. If you don’t ask, you don’t know. Real growth requires conversation, reflection, and ownership.
Handle It By: Engaging in a rich, two-way feedback convo instead of preaching or lecturing. Ask questions and remember the 70/30 rule. They talk 70% of the time, you talk 30%. Miss this, and you’re doing it wrong.
Mistake #4: Making It Personal
Why: It’s very easy when frustrated to stop seeing behaviors and viewing things as character flaws. They didn’t just “miss a deadline” they’re “irresponsible or lazy.” It’s a tiny shift and you might not even realize you’re doing it, but it can then seep into the feedback you give.
The Cost: Defensiveness and complete shutdown. No learning or growth can happen if your employee feels personally attacked. They simply defend themselves, and that’s it.
Handle It By: Focusing on behaviors you can observe and the specific impact of them on the work or the team. Try using a formula, like: When you (behavior), the impact is (consequence of behavior). So we need you to (specific action to resolve).
Simple Feedback Framework
Now that you’ve got some context on what doesn’t work, here’s what does:
- Selecting the right environment and tone. Private location, clear purpose. (1-2 minutes)
- Describing the problem and addressing the issues specifically and factually, focusing on behavior. (2-3 minutes)
- Asking open-ended questions, actively listening, acknowledging and validating their perspective. (5 minutes)
- Collaborating on next steps, asking what they think a solution could be, sharing your own expectations. Agree on how to move forward together. (2-3 minutes)
- Plan a follow-up. Schedule a timeline with check-ins and confirm they understand. (1-2 minutes)
Total time for the meeting should be 15 minutes, max. Most conversations don’t need to be an hour-long production.
Remember that you’re not pointing out failures. You’re coaching your team members on how to succeed. Try this framework on a necessary conversation this week and see how it goes. Constructive feedback is the difference between a good employee and a great one. And if you’re still struggling, reach out. We’re always happy to help!
