Giving Feedback is Hard Ya’ll… Here’s How to Do It with Grace

Giving Feedback is hard

Giving feedback. Ugh. Cue the shudders down the spine and distaste in the mouth, right? Even the most seasoned of pros can struggle in this area, so whether you’re a boss, a team leader, a manager, or a colleague, know you’re not alone!

Granted, giving feedback to someone might feel like navigating a minefield if you’ve never done it before, but thankfully, it doesn’t have to. Others have gone before you and paved the way!

Yes, there’s a bit of an art to doing it gracefully, but it’s also a skill, and like any other skill, it can be developed and strengthened. Keep reading as we share some practical insights and tips to help you do just that. First though…

Why is Feedback So Valuable?

Good question. If you have any desire within you to grow––professionally or personally––you probably already know that constructive criticism and feedback are super important within that process, especially when delivered from people you trust.

The same is true for business.

Constructive and helpful feedback is how you can help nurture your team’s growth and development and contribute to their success within your organization.

Think of it as less managerial duty and more vital in order to foster a culture of continuous improvement. Giving feedback allows you to address team concerns, highlight achievements, and ultimately run a wildly successful business with a kick-butt office culture everyone in your industry covets.

Why Feedback Matters to Your Team

The reality is that feedback is necessary. The good, bad, and ugly. This is true for many reasons, which we’ll discuss below.

Regular Feedback Improves Employee Wellbeing

And healthy teams equal healthy organizations. One of the benefits of engaging in regular feedback is that you can better understand your team members’ mental and emotional states and help keep the lines of communication open and flowing freely. You can also foster trust, belonging, and higher job satisfaction by actively listening when they are facing a challenge and recognizing them for their efforts in day-to-day operations.

Regular Feedback Improves Job Performance

Teamwork makes the dream work, right? If you want to enhance the performance of your team as a collective and improve team relationships, constructive feedback is necessary.

It’s a great method to help you identify the strengths and weaknesses of individuals and offer them targeted ways to develop and grow within your organization. And by engaging in open dialogue and collaboration, you create a continuous learning process that leads everyone down the path of improvement. Win, win!

Regular Feedback May Help Prevent Burnout

Feedback is a two-way street. It’s not just you giving your team feedback; it’s also you listening to your team give theirs. At least according to WorkHuman, employees with managers who actually listen to their problems related to work are 62% less likely to get burned out. Who knew, right?

So, be proactive when it comes to the mental health of your team and learn to recognize the early signs of stress. A healthy workplace that promotes wellness and provides resources and support leads to a team that feels supported and fulfilled in their job roles.

Feedback is Necessary for Career Development

Considered a pillar when it comes to career development, roughly 72% of employees rate “managers providing critical feedback” as vital to their growth and success. Not only does feedback serve as a roadmap of sorts, guiding your team members on their path to leveling up in their chosen field, but it’s also a motivating factor, giving them the drive to seek excellence. It’s also a wonderful way for you to offer advancement opportunities, play the role of mentor, and set clear expectations.

Tips for Providing Constructive Feedback

One key thing to remember when giving feedback constructively is that it’s not about underlining someone’s flaws. Yes, you may need to point out some negative things, but feedback is ultimately about fostering growth and trust.

  • Tip One: Be prepared for your chat by knowing exactly what you’d like to discuss, things you’d like to address, and specific improvements you’d like to see happen moving forward.
  • Tip Two: Be specific with examples and context that help show how their performance may be impacting your organization and/or their team. Think of this as a big-picture overview.
  • Tip Three: Get to the point, but do it with tact. That means avoiding ambiguous language and sugarcoating while, at the same time, avoiding being overly harsh.
  • Tip Four: Remember that giving feedback is a conversation, and nuance is always helpful in communication. Whenever you can, make it a face-to-face meeting or at the very least, a video call, so those nuances can be easily read.
  • Tip Five: Give them guidance and keep the conversational focus on solutions. You want them to leave the meeting feeling encouraged, not beaten up.
  • Tip Six: Be a good listener and encourage dialogue so that team members feel released to share or explain their side of an issue that may come up.
  • Tip Seven: Don’t skip the follow-up. Schedule the meeting before they leave or sign off, and use that time to ensure any changes discussed are being made.

Examples of Positive, Constructive, and Negative Feedback

Positive: 

“You’ve been putting in quite a bit of extra hours on this project, I really appreciate your commitment to completing it on time.”

“That presentation was awesome. I could tell the audience was super engaged, and the way you simplified complex ideas was impressive. Keep it up!”

“I really liked your proactive approach in handling this issue for our client. It shows a strong ability to anticipate needs and offer solutions. Well done.”

Constructive: 

“Hey there, I love your enthusiasm and excitement, and we always welcome your input, but I noticed you talking over your other team members in our last meeting. We want to hear from everyone, so try to keep that in mind moving forward.”

“Your project timeline has slipped a bit; let’s talk about why and what we can do to help you get back on track. I believe in you, so let’s figure it out together.”

“That was a well-researched report you provided. I noticed, however, that the summary could use some refining so that your key points stand out more. Let’s work on that together.”

Negative: 

“You’ve missed 3 project deadlines this month and didn’t communicate why. That’s not acceptable; it affects the performance of the whole team. We need to discuss how you plan to correct this moving forward.

“How you behaved in the last meeting was highly unprofessional. We value a collaborative culture here, and constant interruptions and dominating the conversation hinder that. Please avoid doing that in the future.”

Keep in mind that negative feedback can be tricky. Ideally, you’ll want to offer it privately, not in front of others, and keep the focus on the issue itself. It’s not about them; it’s about the behavior.

Still Worried About Giving Feedback?

Try to remember that a little fear is normal. Communication is hard, and so is conflict and confrontation. All of these things can be a part of the feedback process, which can make it scary. If you’re feeling apprehensive, there are a few ways you can help mitigate this.

  • Remind yourself that you can be assertive with people without causing damage to the relationship itself. Being “nice” for the sake of being nice isn’t true leadership.
  • Remind yourself that feedback is just another tool in your tool belt and that a strong team craves meaningful feedback that helps them grow and succeed.
  • Go over potential outcomes in your head. Mentally review potential scenarios and ways to handle them so you are prepared for any eventuality.
  • Mentally rehearse how you plan to open the conversation and start as you mean to go on, using a tone that’s respectful and firm.
  • Make regular feedback a priority in your team’s processes. Not only does it help you get used to giving said feedback, but it also helps ensure that minor issues stay minor and don’t turn into something major.

Remember, giving feedback is an essential aspect of strong leadership. It’s not about criticism; it’s about guidance, growth, and connection. It’s about nurturing the good things you see happening and pruning out the bad. It’s not being a villain; it’s being the example of what you want to see in your team. When you truly understand how valuable feedback is, it becomes a task to embrace, not fear.

Management

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